Indexed OCR Text

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22. Another shortcoming of women is that when any task is given to them
they will babble something and thereafter carry it out. When they know that
they will have to carry out that task, what is the benefit in babbling? At the
same time, they have caused ill-feeling to the person who asked them to
carry out the task.
23. Some women are in the habit of stitching clothes while they are actually
wearing that very garment which is being stitched. At times, they even poke
themselves. Why cause unnecessary harm to yourself?
24. At the time of arrival or departure, women are in the habit of crying
even if they do not really feel like crying on such an occasion. They impose
this crying upon themselves out of fear that the person will think that they
have no feelings.
25. Women are also in the habit of leaving pins and needles lying around.
Very often, unwary persons are pricked (and thereby harmed).
26. Another shortcoming of women is that they do not protect their children
from the heat and the cold. When the children fall ill, they run around
asking for ta'weezes (amulets). They do not bother about giving the proper
medication nor do they bother about taking proper precautions for the
future.
27. Women are in the habit of feeding their children even though the latter
may not be hungry at all. Alternatively, they insist on their guests to eat
something even if they are not hungry. Thereafter, the children or guests
have to bear the harm of eating despite their not being hungry (causing
harm to their digestive system).
Matters of experience and organization
1. As far as possible do not get both your sons or both your daughters
married at once. This is because there will definitely be some difference in
your daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. In your very sons and daughters
there are differences with regards to their physique, appearance, dress,
beauty, modesty and shame, and in various other matters. People are in the
habit of gossiping, praising one and deriding the other. This unnecessarily
causes ill-feeling.
2. Do not trust anyone and everyone. Do not entrust your house to anyone
and everyone. As long as you have not tested or gauged a person's
credibility, do not rely on him. In cities you will find many women who are
charmers, fortune tellers, gypsies, etc. who barge into homes. Do not even

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allow them to come near your home. Such women have entered many
homes and cleared them (of all goods).
3. Do not leave your jewellery box or hand-bag (or wallet) lying around.
Always keep it locked or else, carry it with you.
4. As far as possible, do not purchase anything on credit. If you have no
alternative but to purchase on credit, ensure that you find out the price of
the item together with writing down the date. Once you have sufficient cash
(to fulfil the debt) immediately go and pay the creditor.
5. As far as possible, try and suffice with the monthly allowance you
receive and use it in an appropriate manner. In fact, you should try and save
some of your monthly allowance.
6. Do not utter things which you do not wish to be mentioned to others in
the presence of those women who frequent your home. Such women
include maids, domestic servants, cleaners, etc. This is because such
women are in the habit of mentioning your domestic affairs to various other
people and various other homes.
7. Do not prepare your meals by using the various ingredients such as flour,
rice, etc. by mere estimation. Use the ingredients according to your needs
and ensure that you weigh them properly and use only that which would be
sufficient. If anyone mocks or teases you for weighing all the ingredients
(and not using them through estimation) do not worry about them.
8. When your daughters go out (for some work or to play) do not allow
them to wear any jewellery as this would pose a danger to their lives and
wealth as well.
9. If any man knocks on your door and claims friendship, claims to have an
appointment or any dealing with your husband, father or brother, do not
ever permit him to enter the house. Do not permit him to enter even if it
may be behind a veil. At the same time, do not hand over any valuable item
to him. Do not display excessive likeness or devotion to him until one of
the menfolk of your house recognizes him. In the same way, do not accept
anything which he gives or sends to you. If he feels hurt over this, do not
worry about it.
10. In the same way if any strange woman comes with a car (or any other
mode of transport) and informs you that so-and-so person has sent for you,
don't ever sit in that car. In short, do not do anything by the mere
information of strange persons. Nor should you give them anything from
your house irrespective of whether they be men or women and irrespective
of whether they ask for the item on their own behalf or in the name of some
other person.

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11. Do not keep any tree or plant in the house which could prove to be
harmful or injurious.
12. Wear extra clothing in winter. Most women do not clothe themselves
properly in winter. This causes influenza and colds.
13. Teach children the names of their father, mother, and grandfather as
well. Occasionally, you should test them to see whether they remember
these names or not. The benefit of this is that if a child gets lost somewhere
and someone asks him his father's or mother's name, he will at least be in a
position to inform them. Someone or the other will recognize the parents'
name (and be able to trace them). If the child does not know the parents'
name, he will merely say: "I am mummy's son" or "I am daddy's son" and
no one will know who he is referring to.
14. Once a woman left a child at a certain place and went on an errand. In
the meantime, a cat came and bit the child in such a manner that the child
passed away. We learn two things from this. One is that you should never
leave your child alone anywhere. The second thing is that one cannot trust
cats, dogs and other animals. Some women are in the stupid habit of
allowing cats to sleep at their side. If the cat has to scratch or bite them or
hold them by the throat, what will they do?
15. When purchasing any medicine, always show it to your doctor so that
he may check whether it is suited to you or not. If there is any dirt or dust
on the packaging of the medicine, remove it thoroughly and check that you
have received the correct medicine. At times, the pharmacist (or his
assistant) gives the wrong medicine and its effect is disastrous. All left over
medicines should be carefully labelled by clearly writing the name of the
medicine and its purpose as well. At times, a person does not recognize the
medicine and therefore has to throw it away. At other times, the person
does not clearly remember the purpose of the medicine and therefore
mistakenly uses it for another sickness thereby causing harm to himself.
16. Do not take loans from people who respect and honour you. (In taking
loans from such persons, you will lose your respect and honour). At the
same time do not give too much on credit or loan. If you have to give on
credit, give an amount which you would be able to bear if it is not paid
back.
17. If you have to undertake a major or new task, first seek advice from a
knowledgeable and pious person.
18. Conceal your money, possessions and other valuables. Do not show
them nor mention them to anyone and everyone.

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19. When writing a letter to anyone, ensure that you write your complete
address clearly. If you have written to the person previously, do not think
that you had written your address in the previous letter therefore there is no
need to write it again. How do you know whether the person still has your
previous letter or not? If he does not have it, just think of the inconvenience
that you would be putting him into. It is possible that he does not even have
your address in his mind or that he is illiterate and was therefore unable to
inform his scribe.
20. If you have to travel by train (or any other public mode of transport)
ensure that you keep your travel tickets and other documents very safely.
You could also give it to your menfolk for safe keeping. When in the train,
do not sleep to the extent that you become absolutely unconscious of your
surroundings. Do not mention any secrets to your fellow female428
travellers. Do not make any mention of your money, jewellery, etc. to them.
If anyone offers you any edibles to eat, do not accept them. Do not wear
any jewellery while travelling by train. Keep your jewellery in your bag.
Once you have reached your destination, you can wear whatever jewellery
you wish.
21. When travelling, always carry some money with you.
22. Do not speak to an insane person. When he is not in his senses, you do
not even know what he is going to say or what he will do to you and
thereby cause you unnecessary embarrassment and ill-feeling.
23. Do not place your foot in any place when it is very dark. Similarly, do
not place your hand in any place when it is very dark. Switch on the lights
first and then do whatever you wish to do.
24. Do not reveal your secrets to anyone and everyone. Some people are in
the habit of mentioning their secrets and thereafter telling the person not to
mention it to anyone. Such persons are more likely to mention it to others
(i.e. especially when you tell them not to mention it to anyone).
25. Always keep some of the basic and necessary medicines in your house.
26. When embarking on any course of action, think of the consequences
first and then commence with it.
27. Do not purchase too much of chinaware and glassware unnecessarily
because a lot of money is wasted in such items (on account of their
breaking very quickly).
428
Males have not been mentioned because a woman is not supposed to be speaking to any
strange man in the first place.

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28. When travelling, women should carry a book of masa'il, a pen, paper, a
utensil for making wudu, etc.
29. When a person is leaving on a journey, as far as possible do not ask him
to purchase anything for you nor ask him to bring a certain item of yours
which is kept at a certain place. At the same time do not ask him to take a
parcel or a letter for you (which has to be delivered to a certain person). In
most cases such requests cause inconvenience to the person who is
travelling. Furthermore, if that person is not very cautious or particular (in
carrying out such tasks) he will cause more harm to you (in not delivering
or bringing that item after you had depended on him to do so). If you have
to send a letter, you could do so by post. If you have to send or request for a
parcel, you could do so by sending it or requesting it through one of the
courier services. If the item which you wish the person to purchase for you
is available over here, even though it may be more expensive, then
purchase it from here. It is not good to inconvenience others merely for a
little benefit to yourself. The task may appear very simple, but there are
many problems in taking the responsibility and making the proper
arrangements. If you have no alternative and you wish that a particular item
be purchased for you, then give the money for the item to the person before
he can leave. If the person is going to return by train (or plane), then give
him extra money so that he has sufficient money if he has to pay for excess
luggage.
30. When travelling, do not eat anything that has been given to you by
strangers. Some people add poisonous or intoxicating substances in the
food and thereby steal all one's money and possessions.
31. When rushing to board a train, bear in mind the type of ticket which
you have purchased. Do not sit in an upper class coach when in fact you
have a lower class ticket.
32. When you are sewing and the needle gets stuck in the fabric, do not try
to pull it out with your teeth. At times the needle breaks or pricks the
person's palate or tongue.
33. Always keep a nail-clipper with you so that you can clip your nails
whenever the need arises.
34. If you do not have full confidence in carrying out a particular task, do
not give the responsibility to others as well. This would cause unnecessary
harm and ill-feeling.
35. Do not give advice to others out of your own accord. However, if you
have full choice over a person (e.g. your children, students, etc.) or the

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person himself seeks your advice or opinion, then there is no harm in
offering your advice.
36. Do not insist on a person to eat or to stay over at your place. At times
this causes discomfort and harm to the person. What is the benefit of
expressing this type of love when it results in ill-feeling and dislike.
37. Do not carry any item that is extremely heavy. We have seen many
persons who carried heavy weights in their youth thereby causing damage
to themselves which resulted in harm for the rest of their lives. This is more
applicable to girls and women. They have to be more cautious because the
joints, veins and nerves of their bodies are weaker and softer.
38. Do not leave needles and other sharp objects lying around. It is possible
that someone may sit on them mistakenly and poke themselves.
39. Do not give any heavy or dangerous object from an elevated place to
any person. Similarly, no food or drink should be passed on from an
elevated place. It is possible that the object will slip and fall.
40. If you have to hit a child or a student, do not hit him with a thick stick
or by kicking and fisting him. Allah forbid, if the child gets hurt or injured
at a weak spot then you will find that the tables will be turned on you. You
should also abstain from hitting a person on the face or head.
41. If you visit someone and you have already partaken of your meal (prior
to going to the person's house), then the moment you go to his house inform
him that you have already eaten. This is because your hosts will not ask you
whether you have eaten or not and they will silently worry about preparing
a meal for you irrespective of whether it is meal time or not. They will take
the trouble of preparing a meal for you and when they present it to you, you
reply that you have already eaten. How dejected they will feel at that time?
So why don't you inform them before-hand? In the same way, if someone
invites you for a meal or asks you to stay over for a meal, then seek
permission from your house folk. If the situation demands that you have to
accept without seeking permission, then inform your house folk before-
hand so that they do not occupy themselves in preparing a meal for you.
42. It is not good to engage in transactions where there are many formalities
or many things to be taken into consideration. In such places one is not able
to speak clearly nor is one able to make the proper demands - one person
understands something while the other understands something else. The
consequences of this are not good.
43. Do not scrape or clean your teeth with a knife or any other sharp object.

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Heavenly Ornaments (Behishti Zewar)
44. Always feed your children who are studying with things that would
give strength to their brains and minds.
45. As far as possible, do not spend the night alone in your home - only
Allah knows what can happen. If there is no alternative, it will be okay to
do so. It has happened that some people passed away (while being alone in
the house) and people learnt of this after several days.
46. When stones, rocks, bricks, etc. are left at one spot for a long period of
time, invariably scorpions and other dangerous animals begin to inhabit that
spot. If you have to pick up the stones, do not do so all of a sudden. Instead,
be extremely cautious, check the surroundings, and then pick them up.
47. When going to sleep, dust the bed with a cloth first because it is
possible that an insect or animal may be on it.
48. Place the leaves of the margosa tree and camphor in between the folds
of silky and woolen clothing so that such clothing is not eaten by worms.
49. If you have to conceal any money in the house, inform one or two
persons in whom you have total trust as to the whereabouts of that money.
Once, a woman concealed 500 rupees of her husband's earnings and passed
away soon thereafter. No one knew the exact location of that money. They
searched the entire house but were unable to find it. The husband was a
poor person - just try and imagine the pain he must have experienced.
50. Some people lock their valuables and leave the keys lying around. This
is also a serious mistake.
51. If you have to count your money and other valuables at night, do so
silently. Do not allow your voice to be heard out of the house as there are
thousands of enemies outside.
52. Do not leave the house with a fire burning inside. In the same way, do
not throw a burning match (or any other item such as charcoal, pieces of
wood, etc.) without first extinguishing it. If you throw such an item, ensure
that you extinguish it with your feet after having thrown it. Do not allow
any sparks to remain.
53. Never allow your children to play with matches, fire or fireworks. Once
my neighbour's child was lighting a match. In the process he caught on fire
and his entire chest was burnt. At another place a child was playing with
fireworks and lost his hand in the process.
54. When there are no lights and you have to carry a candle (or any other
source of light) to the toilet, be extra cautious. Many people have burnt
themselves in this manner. Using paraffin is even more dangerous.

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Precautions with regard to children
1. You should wash the hands, face, neck, ears, groin, dirty clothes of your
children daily. When any dirt and grime collects on the body, it causes a
burnt effect on the skin. This later turns into a wound.
2. When the child relieves himself, wash him immediately with water. Do
not suffice with wiping him with rags (or toilet paper) as this causes itching
and inflammation. If it is winter and it is very cold, wash the child with
warm water.
3. Make your child sleep separately and place two pillows on either side of
him in order to protect him from falling off the bed. By having the child
sleeping next to you there is the fear that one of his limbs might get
smashed. We know for a fact that the limbs of children are weak. There is
therefore nothing to be surprised about if they get injured. At one place a
child got smashed in this way and was found dead the following morning.
4. Do not get the child into the habit of being rocked in a swing excessively
because swings are not found everywhere. Similarly, do not get the child
into the habit of being carried too much because this weakens the child.
5. Get the child into the habit of going to everyone. If a small child gets
used to one particular person and later that person has to pass away or leave
the job, this causes great problems for the child.
6. If you decide to obtain the services of a wet-nurse in order to breast feed
your child, ensure that you get a wet-nurse whose milk is wholesome. who
is young and whose milk is fresh, i.e. her child must not be more than six to
seven months old. At the same time, she must be of good character and
religiously minded. She must not be stupid, immodest, shameless, miserly
or greedy.
7. Once the child commences eating solids, do not hand over the
responsibility of feeding the child to the maid or domestic servant. Ensure
that you feed the child yourself or you appoint a person who is mannerly
and also reliable. This is so that the child does not eat excessively or too
less and thereby falls ill. If you have to give any medication to the child.
ensure that it is prepared in your presence and given to the child in your
presence.
8. When the child reaches the age of understanding, inculcate in him the
habit of eating himself. Wash his hands for him prior to eating and teach

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him to eat with his right hand. Inculcate in him the habit of eating less so
that he is safeguarded from sickness and greed.
9. The parents should pay particular attention to the following. And if
anyone is appointed over the child, he or she should also be instructed to
pay attention to this fact, i.e. they should ensure that the child is neat and
tidy all the time. When the hands and face get dirty, they should be washed
immediately.
10. If possible, someone should be with the child all the time. When the
child is playing around, do not allow him to run around and jump around
excessively. Do not allow him to play in an elevated place. Ensure that the
child plays with the children of good and respectable people. Do not allow
him to play with the children of mean and wicked people. Do not allow the
child to play among too many children. Do not allow him to play in alleys
and on the streets. Do not go around in the bazaars and market places with
the child. Teach the child appropriate manners and etiquette for different
situations and circumstances. Stop the child from improper and unlawful
acts.
11. If there is anyone appointed to play with the child, emphasise on the
person not to take the child to improper and unsuitable places. If he has to
give the child anything to eat or drink, he must first show it to the parents.
He must not feed the child out of his own accord.
12. Get the child into the habit of asking from his parents and immediate
family. He should not ask for anything from anyone else. Similarly, he
should not accept anything from anyone without your permission.
13. Do not display excessive love and affection for the child or else he will
become spoilt.
14. Do not make the child wear very tight-fitting clothes. Similarly, do not
make the child wear very elaborate clothing (such as clothing that has gold
and silver brocade, laces, etc.) excessively. There is no harm if the child
wears such clothing on certain occasions such as eid.
15. Get the child into the habit of brushing his teeth with a miswaak.
16. In the seventh part of Bahishti Zewar (sixth part of the English
translation) the rules and etiquette of eating, drinking, talking, walking,
meeting people, sitting in gatherings, etc. are written in detail. Get the child
into the habit of adopting all these etiquette. Do not depend on his learning
them when he grows older or on the assumption that you would read them
to him later in life. You should remember that a person does not learn

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anything on his own. Similarly, if anything is read to him, although he
comes to know of it, the habit of putting that into practice does not come
immediately. As long as a person does not get into the habit of adopting
good manners and etiquette, then irrespective of how knowledgeable he
becomes, he will always do things which are considered to be ill-mannered,
inappropriate, and things which would cause pain to others.
17. Do not impose too much of work on the child in his studies. Set aside
one hour for his studies in the beginning. Thereafter, increase it to two
hours and then three hours. In this way, increase the work load in
accordance with his capability and how much he can bear. It should not
happen that the child is made to study the entire day. This is because he
would become easily distracted on account of tiredness. Excessive work
would damage his heart and brain. This would cause his mind and memory
to become weak and he will become lazy like a sick person. This would
result in his losing interest in his studies.
18. Apart from short holidays and without any real need, do not give the
child holidays very often. This causes one to become dull and weary by
nature.
19. As far as possible, obtain the services of a qualified and reputable
teacher in whichever field the child is studying. Some people look for
cheap teachers for their children. From the very beginning the method of
teaching and studying is wrong and it becomes very difficult to set this
right later on.
20. Easy subjects should be taught later in the day while difficult subjects
should be taught in the morning. This is because one is tired and weary
later in the day and will therefore become terrified of difficult subjects.
21. Teach your children, especially girls, to cook and sew.
22. When there is a big difference in age between the bride and bridegroom,
this could be a cause of many problems.
23. At the same time, do not get your children married at a very young age.
This is also very harmful.
A few words of advice
1. It is an evil practice to "pick out" a person on his past practices. It is an
evil habit of women that when past ill-feelings have been cleared and
forgiven and a situation arises wherein they get into an argument again,
they begin to repeat the past ill-feelings. This is a sinful act and at the same
time it causes ill-feelings to settle into the heart again.

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2. Don't ever complain about your in-laws when you go to your parents'
house. Some of these complaints amount to sinning and this act of
complaining is regarded as lack of patience on your part. In most situations
this complaining results in ill-feelings between the two families. In the
same way, do not speak in praise of your parents' house at your in-laws. At
times this amounts to the sin of pride and haughtiness. Furthermore, the in-
laws will get the impression that this daughter-in-law of theirs does not
value and appreciate them. This would result in their not appreciating you.
3. Do not get into the habit of speaking excessively or else you would
inevitably mention something that is inappropriate. The consequence of this
is ill-feelings in this world and sinning in the hereafter.
4. As far as possible do not ask others to fulfil your tasks for you - fulfil
them yourself. In fact, you should take up the tasks of others as well. In
doing so, you will be rewarded and at the same time you will win over the
person as well.
5. Don't ever converse with women who are in the habit of carrying tales
from anywhere and everywhere. Do not even lend an ear to them. Listening
to such conversations is sinful and could also lead to problems.
6. If you hear any complaints about your mother-in-law, sister-in-law
(husband's sister), wife of husband's younger brother, wife of husband's
elder brother, etc. then do not keep these complaints in your heart. It would
be better for you to consider these complaints to be false and thereby
remove them from your heart. If you are unable to do this, go up to the
person who made all these complaints and clear all misunderstandings. In
doing so, there is no room for further problems and misunderstandings.
7. Do not be too strict with your workers and domestic servants. Also keep
a watchful eye on your children that they do not mock or trouble the
servants and their children. They might not say anything out of fear or
taking you into consideration, but you must remember that they will
definitely curse you in their hearts. Even if they do not curse you, you will
still be committing the crime of oppression and you will therefore be a
sinner.
8. Do not waste your time in unnecessary and useless conversations. Set
aside some time in which you teach the Quran and read Islamic literature to
girls. If you are unable to do much, then after teaching the Quran you
should at least read this book, Bahishti Zewar, to them from the beginning
till the end. You should also give importance to teaching girls some sort of

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handicrafts irrespective of whether the girls are your own children or
someone else's children. However, as long as they have not completed the
recitation of the Quran, they should not engage in any other work. Once
they have recited the Quran (early in the morning), they should clean
themselves. Thereafter, commence teaching them. After they take a break
and eat, give them writing exercises. Thereafter, teach them how to cook
and sew.
9. Do not ask the girls who come to study under you to carry out your
domestic tasks. At the same time, do not ask them to take care of your
children. Instead, treat them as you would your own children.
10. Do not take upon any responsibilities merely for name and fame. This
would be considered to be a sin and would result in many problems and
difficulties.
11. When moving from one place to another or travelling to a certain place,
do not make it necessary upon yourself that you have to change your shoes,
clothing, wear new jewellery, etc. This is because it means that you are
going into all these formalities so that people may consider you to be great.
Having such an intention is sinful. Furthermore, this causes a delay in
departing which results in many other problems. You should adopt humility
and simplicity. Occasionally, go with the very clothes that you are wearing
at home. If the clothes are very dirty, then change as quick as possible
without going into too many formalities.
12. When arguing with anyone, do not find faults with the person's family
or any of his dead relatives. This is a sinful act and at the same time causes
ill-feeling.
13. When you have someone else's item, return it immediately after having
used it. If you do not find anyone to return it at that time, do not mix it with
your own items. Keep it separately and safely so that it does not get
mislaid. It is not permissible to use another person's item without his
permission.
14. Do not get into the habit of eating sumptuous meals. One does not
remain in the same financial position all the time. If his position
deteriorates, he has to undergo many difficulties.
15. Don't ever forget anyone's favour upon you irrespective of how
insignificant it may be. At the same time, do not show off your favours
irrespective of how big they may be.
16. When you have no work at all, the best thing to do is read a Deeni book.
Don't ever read books that are harmful.

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17. Don't ever shout and speak. How embarrassing it would be if your voice
is heard outside?
18. If you have to wake up in the middle of the night and the rest of the
house folk are asleep, do not shuffle about and do not walk around loudly.
If you have awoken for a particular reason, why should you awaken the
others as well? Do whatever you have to very silently.
19. Do not laugh and joke with your elders. It is a sign of disrespect. Do not
be informal with low-minded persons because they would become
disrespectful of you and cause you displeasure. Alternatively, they will
display their arrogance elsewhere and thereby disgrace themselves.
20. Do not speak in praise of your family or your children in the presence
of others.
21. If everyone stands up in a gathering, do not remain seated as this is
considered to be a sign of pride and haughtiness.
22. If two persons are in disagreement (and not speaking to each other), do
not mention anything to any of them whereby if they reconcile, it would
cause embarrassment to you. 429
23. As long as your work can be accomplished through money or softness,
do not adopt a hard approach or throw yourself into any difficult or
dangerous situation.
24. Do not display your anger to anyone in the presence of your guests.
This would cause your guest to become reserved and he would not be as
"open" as he was prior to your anger.
25. Display good character to your enemy as well. In this way, his enmity
towards you will not increase.
26. Do not allow pieces of bread to lie around. If you see any bread lying
around, pick it up, clean it and eat it. If you are unable to eat it, give it to
some animal. If the table cloth has bits and pieces of food on it, do not dust
it at a place where people walk.
27. Once you have completed your meal, do not leave the food behind and
get up. This is a sign of disrespect. Pick up all the dishes first and then get
up.
28. Emphasise on your girls not to play with boys because this causes both
of them to become mischievous. When boys who are outsiders come into
429
For example, do not speak ill of one of them to the other person because if they reconcile
later on, the former will inform the latter of what you said and would thereby cause great
embarrassment to you.

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the house, the girls should leave their presence even if these boys are small
in age.
29. Do not joke physically (such as tickling) with anyone. In most cases
this causes ill-feelings and at times the person is also physically hurt. Do
not joke excessively to the extent that the other person becomes serious.
This also causes disputes. It is extremely shameful to joke in the presence
of guests, such as in the presence of one's wedding guests.
30. Do not sit in line with your elders. However, if they order you to do so
for some reason or the other, then etiquette demands that you obey them.
31. When you borrow anything from anyone, keep it very safely. Once you
have completed using it, send it back to him immediately. Do not wait for
the person to ask you for it. There could be several reasons for his not
asking for it: (i) he does not know whether you have completed using it or
not, (ii) he is probably feeling it difficult to ask you for it, (iii) he probably
forgot that you have that item in your possession. Later when he looks for
it, how much of difficulty you will be imposing upon him? In the same
way, if you are owing any money to anyone and you have some money,
then pay it to that person immediately. Reduce your debt as much as you
can and as quickly as you can.
32. If you have to walk at night for some reason or the other (and you have
no alternative but to walk), then remove your anklets and other types of
tinkling jewellery. Do not walk around with all this tinkling jewellery.
33. If someone is alone in the house or room and the door is closed, do not
open the door and barge in. It is possible that the person is naked, exposed,
or sleeping and you disturb him unnecessarily (by barging inside). Instead,
call out the person's name in a soft tone and seek his permission to enter. If
he permits you, enter. If not, remain silent and try again later on. However,
if you have very urgent work with the person and he does not reply, then
shout out his name until he wakes up. But as long as he does not answer
you or does not call you inside, do not enter.
34. If you do not know a person (and you are engaged in a conversation
with him), then do not speak ill of a particular place or a particular family,
tribe, people, etc. It is possible that the person is from that place or belongs
to that particular group of people. This would cause you great
embarrassment.
35. In the same way, if you do not know who was the person who fulfilled a
certain task, then do not say: "Which stupid did this?" or any other words of

Heavenly Ornaments (Behishti Zewar)
846
similar tone. It is possible that someone whom you respect and look up to
carried out that task. This would also cause you great embarrassment.
36. If your child does something wrong (thereby inflicting harm on
someone else), never take your child's part. It is worse to take sides with
your child in his presence because this would cause your child to become
spoilt.
37. When seeking to get your daughters married, look for a boy who has the
fear of Allah and a religious temperament. It is such a person who can
provide comfort to his wife. If the person is extremely wealthy but has no
Deen in him, he will not fulfil his wife's rights nor will he be faithful to his
wife. In fact he will not even give her any money. Even if he gives her any
money, he will harass her more than what he gives her.
38. Stitch your name or any other sort of identification on your clothing so
that it does not get mixed up with someone else's clothing. This would
result in your wearing the other person's clothing and the latter wearing
yours. This is a sinful act and also causes worldly harm.
39. It is the practice among the Arabs that when they wish to take
something from a pious person (such as a spiritual guide or sufi shaykh) for
the sake of acquiring the blessings from him, they give this pious person
one of their own belongings (such as a kurta, shawl, scarf, etc.). This pious
person uses the item for a few days and gives it back to the person who had
given it to him. The pious person has no hesitance in doing this. However,
if twenty persons ask him for one of his own items, he will not be left with
even a rag. Our Indian people unashamedly ask the pious persons for their
clothing. This causes inconvenience to them. If we also adopt the practice
of the Arabs it will be very good.
40. If a person expresses his opinion in a particular matter and you have an
opinion contrary to his, then express your opinion. However, do not express
your opinion and attribute it to someone else. This is because if the person
goes and mentions it to that person (to whom you attributed a particular
opinion), it would cause unnecessary ill-feelings.
41. Do not accuse anyone of anything on mere suspicion as this would
cause great pain to the person.
The Importance of Handicrafts
Some poor women have no means of obtaining or receiving food and
clothing. Such women experience great difficulties and problems. The

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solution to their problem could be in two things: one is that they should get
married. Alternatively, they should learn some sort of handicraft and
thereby earn a living. However, ignorant people consider both marriage and
a handicraft to be a shortcoming. And no one thinks about making proper
arrangements for the expenses of these poor women. So how can these
women live a proper life? O women! You cannot force anyone (to do
anything for you). However, Allah Ta'ala has given you the power of
choice over your heart and your hands and feet. You should therefore try
and influence your heart and do not worry about what others have to say. If
you have reached the age of marriage, get married. If you have not reached
the age of marriage, or do not feel like getting married (without considering
it to be a shortcoming), or you are scared of further complications (by
getting married), then in all these cases try and earn a living through a
permitted handicraft. If anyone looks down upon you or mocks at you, don't
ever worry about it. If there was anything wrong with such work, why
would the prophets alayhimus salaam have taken up such occupations?
Who is greater than them? It is mentioned in a Hadith that Rasulullah
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to graze sheep. It is also mentioned in a
Hadith that there is not a single prophet who did not graze sheep.
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that the best source of income is
that which has been earned with one's own hands and that Hadrat Daud
alayhis salaam used to eat with the earnings of his own hands. All this has
been mentioned by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Some of the
occupations of the prophets have been mentioned in the Quran. Others have
been mentioned in other biographies of the different prophets. We will
mention the names of a few of such prophets together with their
occupations.
1. Hadrat Aadam alayhis salaam had done farming. He used to grind flour
and make bread.
2. Hadrat Idris alayhis salaam used to do writing and tailoring.
3. Hadrat Nuh alayhis salaam cut wood and built a ship. This is the work of
a carpenter.
4. Hadrat Hud alayhis salaam was a trader.
5. Hadrat Saalih alayhis salaam was a trader.
6. Hadrat Zul Qarnayn was a great king and, according to others, he was a
prophet. He used to weave baskets.

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7. Hadrat Ibrahim alayhis salaam used to do farming. He also engaged in
construction work - he built the ka'bah.
8. Hadrat Lut alayhis salaam used to do farming.
9. Hadrat Isma'eel alayhis salaam used to make arrows and put up targets.
10. Hadrat Is'haaq alayhis salaam, Hadrat Ya'qub alayhis salaam and all
their children used graze sheep and give them to their children.
11. Hadrat Yusuf alayhis salaam traded in grain when there was a drought.
12. Hadrat Ayyub alayhis salaam had the young of many camels and sheep.
He had also done farming.
13. Hadrat Shu'ayb alayhis salaam had also grazed sheep.
14. Hadrat Musa alayhis salaam grazed sheep for several years. This
tending of sheep was also his form of payment of mahr when he got
married.4
15. Hadrat Harun alayhis salaam was a trader.
16. Hadrat al-Yasa' alayhis salaam used to do farming.
17. Hadrat Daud alayhis salaam used to make armour which is the work of
an ironsmith.
18. Hadrat Luqmaan alayhis salaam was a very wise person. Some scholars
consider him to be a prophet. He used to graze sheep.
19. Hadrat Sulayman alayhis salaam used to weave baskets.
20. Hadrat Zakariyya alayhis salaam used to do carpentry.
21. Hadrat 'Isa alayhis salaam had dyed clothes at a person's shop.
We have already mentioned that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and
all other prophets had grazed sheep. Although these prophets did not
depend on the different occupations as a source of income, they however
did all these things and did not consider them to be a defect or shortcoming.
Many great auliyaa' and ulama who have written great works had also
undertaken some sort of occupation. Some of them engaged in weaving,
others in tanning of leather, others in repairing of shoes, while others
engaged in the making of sweetmeats. Who can have more honour and a
greater status than all these great persons?
430
Can the tending of sheep or any other similar task be acceptable as a form of payment of
mahr or not? This mas'ala needs a lengthy explanation. When necessary, consult an aalim.

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SUPPLEMENT (A) TO BAHISHTI ZEWAR
(Part Nine)
A few important masa'il
1. It is not permissible to eat at a place wherein most of the things that are
sold are haraam. However, if a person inquires with regard to a particular
item that is being sold there and is given a reply that it is halaal, then he
will have to check on the person who gave him the information. If the
person is a pious and religious-minded person, one can act on his
information without any hesitation. If the person is a sinful person, or one
does not know whether he is a pious person or not, then one should check
with one's heart. If the heart says that this person is honest, it will be
permissible to act upon his information. But if the heart is not inclined
towards believing him, it will not be permissible to act upon his
information. For example, the selling of mangoes (or any other fruit) prior
to the crop even appearing on the trees. You have read previously that this
is haraam. If this practice is in vogue in a particular place and the mangoes
sell at a lower price after maturity, then the above-mentioned mas'ala will
apply. If you are given the information that certain mangoes were sold after
maturity, it will be permissible for you to eat them. It will not be
permissible to eat them if you do not know when they were sold (after
maturity or before).
2. It is prohibited to speak ill or curse a sickness (that one is afflicted with).
3. If a kaafir woman (or man) comes willingly to you in order to accept
Islam and there is no fear of any fight or civil strife in her accepting Islam,
then make her a Muslim. The method of making a person into a Muslim is
as follows: Make the person recite the kalimah nd explain its meaning as
well, i.e. There is none worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is
the Messenger of Allah. She must also say: "I believe in all the prophets, all
the books of Allah, the angels, life after death and predestination (taqdeer).
I have left my previous religion and accepted the religion of the Muslims. I
will offer the five times salaat and keep the fasts of Ramadaan. If I have the
stipulated amount of wealth, I will give zakaat. If I have sufficient funds, I
will perform the hajj. I will follow all the orders of Allah and His Rasul
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and abstain from all the things which they have
prohibited. O Allah! Keep me firm on Deen and Imaan. Help me in

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fulfilling all pious and religious acts." Thereafter, all those who are present
should make the following dua to Allah: "O Allah! Accept this person's
Islam. Keep us firm on Imaan and make us die on Imaan as well."
4. Do not backbite.
5. Do not believe in rumours.
6. Some women are of the opinion that as long as impure clothes are not
dried after having washed them, they are not pure and that salaat with such
clothes is not permissible. This is incorrect. On account of not knowing this
mas'ala, many women miss their salaats. Where will they ever make qadaa
of these missed salaats? You should not think in this manner. Salaat with
wet clothes is definitely permissible.
7. Clothing that causes the arms, hair of the head, neck, etc. to be exposed
invalidates salaat. (This is applicable to women)
8. If a poor person is strong enough to work but still goes around begging,
it will not be permissible to give him anything.
9. If you are travelling by train (or any other mode of public transport) and
there is no water to make wudu, make tayammum and offer your salaat. Do
not miss the salaat.
10. Some women do not observe purdah with their workers and labourers.
This is a major sin.
11. Do not use items that belong to others without the owner's permission.
This is irrespective of how insignificant the item may be. After using the
item, do not leave it lying around. Instead, return it to the owner or inform
him that you have left the item at a particular place.
12. The different rules, regulations and stipulations that have been laid
down by the different authorities with regard to the different modes of
public transport (such as buses, trains, planes, etc.) have to be followed. It
is not permissible to act contrary to those rules, to cheat on the authorities,
or to conceal anything from them. For example, if a person is travelling
with a third class ticket by train, he is permitted to carry a certain amount of
luggage (30-40 kilos or whatever the case maybe). If he has any luggage
that is in excess of the stipulated amount, he will have to pay for the excess
luggage according to whatever is stipulated per kilo. If a person takes this
excess luggage into the train without having it weighed, even if the
authorities do not spot him, he will be committing a sin. If he bribes the
authorities into permitting him to take the excess luggage (without any
additional payment), he will be committing a double sin - one for taking the
excess luggage and another for bribing the authorities.

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Similarly, they have a rule that if a child is under three years old, he can
travel free of charge. If he is between three and twelve years of age, he will
have to pay half the normal rate. If he is above twelve years, he will have to
pay the full adult rate. Based on this, if a person takes a child who is above
three years without paying for his ticket, or informs the authorities that the
child is under three years old (despite being over three years old). he will be
sinning. In the same way, if a child is above twelve years and the person
informs the authorities that he is under twelve years and therefore purchases
a half-ticket, he will also be sinning.
In all these cases, the person will have to pay on the day of judgement - not
with money but by giving away his good deeds and he will have to bear the
evil deeds of the authorities (whom he had cheated).
13. These days, young Muslim men read a lot of English literature. Many
things which are contrary to the Deen are found in such books and
magazines. Most of these youngsters who read such books have no
knowledge of the Deen. This results in many of them having no Imaan in
their hearts. Furthermore, many of them utter certain things which cause
them to lose their Imaan. If a Muslim girl has married one of these
youngsters, their marriage is not considered to be valid in the Shariah. If the
marriage is not valid, it would mean that their entire lives are spent in
sinning. The consequences of this will have to be borne by the parents in
this world and there is the fear of punishment in the hereafter as well. It is
therefore extremely important and necessary that just as you inquire about
the family background and financial position of the boy who proposes to
your daughter, it is much more important for you to inquire and check
whether he is religiously-minded or not. If you do not know anything about
his religiosity, don't ever give your daughter to him. A religious-minded
poor person is a thousand times better than a rich person who has no Deen
in him. It has also been noticed that the person who does not have any Deen
in him is unable to fulfil the rights of his wife and does not even have any
feelings for her. At times he will not even give her a cent to spend (on
herself). When there is no tranquillity in such cases, why do people then
crave for affluent partners?
14. If you make any mistakes in the recitation of the Quran, correct these
mistakes immediately or have them corrected by someone. Do not leave it
for a later date because it is highly possible that you will forget to have
such mistakes corrected. If you do not have these mistakes corrected, you